


Believe Me

by eLJay



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-04-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 02:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eLJay/pseuds/eLJay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn has some things to say, and Rae knows she has to listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Believe Me

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by orangeisthenewblue and an anon on Tumblr.

When Finn had something he wanted to say, she knew to shut up and listen for as long as it took him to get it all out.  So when he murmured “I remember the first time I saw you” as they cuddled on the couch in the dark, the film they’d been watching long over, she stayed quiet.

“Chloe was talking to you and I just wanted her to shut up so we could get going.  The sun was behind you when I looked back, so I couldn’t see how beautiful you were right away.”  Rae bit her tongue to keep from letting him know what bollocks she thought that was; even though she’d not said anything he seemed to know what she was thinking and looked to her with a small smile.

“And then even when the sun wasn’t in my eyes it took me too long to see it.  I saw other things, things that weren’t you instead of actual you.  But then you nicked 20p off me and put on the Beastie Boys and it was like…you became a real person then.  Not one I liked straightaway, but one who was interesting.  That was when I started feeling something for you.  Feeling something’s better than feeling nothing, even if the something’s not so good.”

He stroked her arm, fingers trailing up and down from shoulder to elbow, quiet for long enough that she wondered if he was finished.  Eventually he went on, still speaking softly.  “Whenever I saw you it was like getting hit in the chest.  Because you didn’t like me and I wanted you to, and then because I liked you and I didn’t know how you felt, or because I thought you liked someone else.  I felt it, right here, every time I looked in your eyes.”  He rubbed the centre of his chest, like it ached even now; she put her hand over his, lacing their fingers together.  “I still feel it, but it’s nicer now.  You still knock me back, Rae.  Always will.”

She leant up and kissed him, her free hand on his cheek.  When they parted she laid her head against his shoulder and said, “The first time I saw you I was just out of hospital and afraid of anyone knowing it, lying to Chloe so she’d think I was normal.  You were just a bloke on a scooter, too fit for me to consider, definitely too fit to even look at me.”  She shook her head slightly.  “And you confused me.  Sometimes when you looked at me I thought you saw something you liked, and I knew that couldn’t be right.”  His fingers moved in her hair, combing through the soft waves, lulling and soothing her.  “I couldn’t believe that anyone would want to touch me, specially not someone like you, and when you told me you loved me…”

“You didn’t believe me, you daft woman,” he said, jabbing her in the shoulder lightly.  “You’d just confessed you’d been ill, in front of everyone you knew, and that you, er, fantasised about me…”  Rae giggled at the idea that he was still embarrassed about that, after all this time, after all they’d done together.  “I had to tell you.  It weren’t fair not to, not after you said all that.  I couldn’t leave you not knowing that I felt the same.”

“What, that you fantasised about me?” she scoffed.

“’Course I did.  I thought about you all the time.”  As he went on, Finn punctuated his words with the actions he described.  “About kissing you; about holding your hand; about petting your hair; about touching you _everywhere_.”  She shivered as his fingers ran down her side, under her shirt, teasing.  He murmured against her neck, the vibrations tickling her skin.  “I’ve never stopped thinking about you, not once.”

Rae pulled his face to hers and kissed him thoroughly, careless of whether or not he’d said all he wanted to.  From the way he kissed back, one arm around her neck and the hand under her shirt creeping higher, he didn’t mind the interruption.  When they broke apart, panting for breath, he still had more to say.

“Rae…” he began slowly, speaking into her ear, “I love you.  You’re the best thing in my life.  You know me better than anybody else, and I can’t stand the thought of being without you.  And I haven’t got a ring or owt, but I can get you one, if you want.  If—if you say yes.”

She felt her heart racing, just like it had when they’d stared at each other outside the chippy the night of her parents’ wedding.  She pulled away and shifted to face him, and he did the same, their knees knocking together; he looked a little solemn, but also calm, much calmer than he had any right to.  “Say yes to what?” she asked, voice sounding loud in her own ears.  Maybe it was immature to be dense on purpose, but she wanted to be sure he meant what she was hearing.  “Cos I didn’t hear a question there.”

Finn smiled, and it was the same smile she’d seen a million times before, but it was also different.  “I want you to marry me.  Will you?”

She swallowed thickly, and, like a prat, tried to be nonchalant and unaffected.  “I think I’d like to see a ring first.”  It didn’t bother him, though; he’d probably been expecting her to do something like that.  That was what broke her cool, that acceptance of her idiocy.  “Finn, I’m not—are you sure?  I don’t believe you!” she said, again, desperately but also a bit giddily, tears beginning to spill from her eyes.

He chuckled, untangling his arms from her body, and slid off the couch onto the floor.  He arranged himself on one knee and took her hands.  His hair was slightly ruffled from their snogging and he was wearing a faded old band t-shirt and he gazed up at her, now confident and relaxed, and there was no one else that Rae would ever love as much as she loved him.  Even when all he said to repeat his question was a cheeky “Believe me now?”

She smiled, twisting her hands in his grasp, and traced three letters on his palm.


End file.
